Valentine's Day
by Whisper's Song
Summary: Set during 'Valentine’s Day' in Season 2. “She is hopeful that this Valentine’s Day will be the one he gets right. He’ll do the good boyfriend thing and remember.” Follow Pam's thoughts on that day in the office. What the cameras didn't capture.


**Valentine's Day**

**An Office Fanfiction by:** Whisper's Song

**Summary:** Episode: Valentine's Day in Season 2. "She is hopeful that this Valentine's Day will be the one he gets right. He'll do the good boyfriend thing and remember." Follow Pam thoughts on that day in the office. What the cameras didn't capture.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing of The Office.

**A/N:** I just watched The Valentine's Day episode again and I felt so bad for Pam! (As I imagine everyone else did!) I wondered what she was thinking during the episode and what had happened that the cameras didn't capture, so I ended up writing this! This is my first Office fanfiction and I hope you guys like it! It's Pam's point of view. Thanks for reading/reviewing! Enjoy!

* * *

She wakes up at the sound of her alarm and rubs the sleep out of her eyes. Turning off her alarm she's able to see the calendar with a light, faint, pink outline over the fourteenth that she did a couple weeks ago. She realizes that that day is today, Valentine's Day. Usually the only high point of this day was going to work where everyone would give each other Valentines and candies. Then she was home with Roy would her feelings turn into sadness.

On her and Roy's first Valentine's Day he gave her a daisy and it was so pretty to her at the time. She would later find out he had stolen it out of his friend's bouquet of flowers for his girlfriend because he had forgotten about the day, but when she had gotten that daisy she hadn't known that. It was the only time he really ever got her anything for Valentine's Day. She used to give him drawings she would work a month on beforehand, but now she only cooked him dinner with his favorite things. He didn't notice anything special about the dinner, just merely seemed it to be pure chance that all the foods he liked were on the plate. She figured one of them had to remember the holiday at least.

Roy tended to forget about Valentine's Day or when it did strike him to remember she only received a card that sometimes had his signature alone with no comment or sometimes the card was for a different holiday. She wouldn't point it out to him though, instead just saying she loved the card and how thoughtful it was for him to remember.

But today, this Valentine's Day she has hope.

Roy had made the speech on the Booze Cruise and had picked out a wedding date, in front of everyone. Their wedding after so many years was going to happen and it was because _he wanted to make it happen_. She no longer had to tell people she hadn't set a date anymore, but could proudly say June tenth. Roy had even suggested a church which was above and beyond what she was used to. It is because of these events that she is hopeful again for today. Even though she told him not to get her anything too big because they had to save up for the wedding, she is hopeful that this Valentine's Day will be the one he gets right. He'll do the good boyfriend thing and remember.

She picks a soft pink sweater to wear today instead of a collared shirt and sweater jacket. She doesn't pull her hair back but lets it down with a headband to make sure her hair doesn't get in her face. She makes her hair a little more curly than usual. She doesn't even care that Michael might make some suggestive comment about her wardrobe change. She's able to look in the mirror, smile, and feel pretty for the first time in a long time.

She arrives to work early for once, because she's in such a good mood. She even picks up decorations for the office on the way over and hums as she puts them up. A sign on her desk, a sign on the accounting nook, fresh candy for the candy dispenser, and new pens and pencils complete with a new mug to put them in. She realizes she's not alone in the office and looks to see Angela entering the office with a box. She assumes it's for Dwight and she smiles at Angela, who in a rare gesture of happiness, smiles back. Angela puts the box on Dwight's desk and continues to her desk to begin work. She wants to know what is in the box so badly, but she restrains, she has the perfect view for when Dwight arrives to open it anyway.

* * *

She has hope when she sees that huge bouquet of roses come through the door. For a moment she lets herself believe it could be for her. That Roy had disregarded what she had told him and got her something big anyway. She controls her excitement as she reaches out and grabs the card attached to the flowers. She then looks at the card and is disappointed that Phyllis' name is printed neatly on the card and not her own. She is sad as she calls out Phyllis' name but realizes that the day is early and that roses are really expensive, probably too expensive to buy and still have decent money for the wedding. She's sure she'll get something later on, and it'll be smaller, sure, but to her it's the thought that counted. _Good for Phyllis_ she thinks, turning around the situation into a positive one.

* * *

When Michael offers to get her something in New York she declines, not really wanting to find out what he would get her. Yet when she does decline a small voice, barely audible ponders in her mind, _even Michael would've gotten you something on Valentine's Day_. She's shocked that she even thinks this and quickly puts it down. Roy was going to get her something. He just must've wanted it sent after lunch when it would be slower at the office.

* * *

She likes that Jim isn't dating Katie anymore. She thinks she likes it more than she should, but she is his best friend and she was only happy that he decided to not pursue a relationship with a girl she deemed was unworthy of him. She is only looking out for her friend. She's also glad that he wouldn't have plans with another girl so she didn't have to overhear them. She didn't want to watch him order flowers for another girl because she knew that was the kind of thing he would do. Instead she overhears his plans for tonight which include a poker night. She's tempted to ask him if she can come because it'll probably be more thrilling then what was probably going to happen at home. She resists the temptation to ask and instead looks sadly at him.

* * *

She watches Dwight finally sit down at his desk after spending the bulk of the morning in Michael's office. He looks at the box curiously and carefully but slowly draws a knife through the tape on the top of the box. With great care he lifts the card reading simply, Happy Valentine's Day, and lifts out a bobble head in his likeness. His eyes light up after realizing what the gift is and she can see how Angela hides a secret smile, glad that he liked his present. While it makes her happy to see Dwight and Angela happy, it also makes her jealous. She can't remember ever being that happy after getting anything from Roy.

* * *

Another vase of flowers come. They're smaller a bunch with a purple color scheme to them. She has hope for these since they are smaller and although they look nice are probably a lot less expensive than the roses. These could be for her, she hopes. Instead they are for Phyllis, once again. She now gets annoyed, the reality of the situation hitting her. Time was running out and it seemed that Roy had just forgotten like always. Next to follow for Phyllis were chocolate, balloons, and another vase of flowers that she had to put on her desk. She felt like crying at how someone Phyllis hadn't been dating that long could send her all that but Roy, who she had been with for years, couldn't get her one flower.

She snaps when Phyllis has a huge teddy bear delivered to her. It is the biggest stuffed animal she has ever seen and it's the icing to the horrible day cake. She wants to attack the teddy bear but only watches as it is given to Phyllis.

* * *

She's able to distract herself for a couple minutes when Dwight asks to speak with her. He looks worried and paces around the break room in a panic over what to get his unnamed, obviously Angela, girlfriend. She admits he had a point in not getting a gift in the first place; Angela didn't seem the type to celebrate the holiday. She thinks he looks, in that moment, cute. He is like every other male on the day, confused as hell as to what to give his girlfriend. She tells him that gift doesn't have to be huge, that it's about showing his girlfriend he cares about her. It's the thought behind it that counts. He cuts her off suddenly and now he looks like normal Dwight. He has suddenly found what he's going to get Angela and takes off to make it happen. She wonders if Roy ever panicked about what to get her in the same cute way Dwight did and if he had put that much thought into what she would like.

* * *

The final delivery of the day is some simple red flowers. It could be from Roy she figures, simple and inexpensive. She has a little hope still clinging but it is destroyed when it's for Oscar from his mom. She doesn't even have the energy to wonder why a mother would send her song flowers on Valentine's Day instead sinking into a depression.

She watches Angela unwrap something. She can't see what Angela got but she's obviously pleased. She can see the smug look on Dwight's face that he accomplished making his girlfriend happy.

Roy enters the office and asks if she's ready to go. She guesses that she is. Roy asks what's wrong and she resists the urge to look at him like he's stupid. She tells him that she had to watch Phyllis get a garden delivered and that while she said to not get her anything big she thought he would get it something. He tells her that Valentine's Day isn't over and that they'll sleep together later tonight, the best she'll ever have. She's shocked that he would openly say that in the office and can't bring herself to see Jim's reaction to Roy's comment. She tells him to clock out, warm up the car, and she'll be out in a little bit.

* * *

It is time for Jim to leave. He hasn't given her anything at all today and it disappoints her. She wonders what she did for Jim not to give her anything when he had given her a hilarious card with Dwight's face on it last year. She had left him a bag of his favorite candy on his desk with a handmade card when she came in. Instead he wishes her a Happy Valentine's Day after taking his coat and leaves. She's left looking after him, expecting more than just that from him. The fact that he hadn't gotten her anything made her heart feel like a knife had cut it. Sure Roy had forgotten again, but Jim forgetting took her sadness to a whole new level and she didn't know why.

Phyllis then leaves for good, this being her fourth trip. She had cleared out all the flowers, candy, and balloons the past three trips and now she has left to remove is the giant teddy bear. With the bear on her back Phyllis says good night.

She's the last one to leave which isn't unusual. She turns off the light and takes the elevator down, thinking about the fun conversations she and Jim had when they were the only ones in the elevator. She walks across the parking lot to Roy's car and wonders if this day could get any worse.

* * *

She stands in the kitchen making dinner for Roy and in a moment of weakness lets a couple tears fall down her face. She tries to rationalize to herself that it's the steam coming off the food she has in the pan irritating her eyes, but it's useless. Valentine's Day was like any other day in her world and it had crushed her because she had put her faith in that it would work out the way she wanted for once. Maybe things weren't going to change. Maybe for the rest of her life she would have to deal with no more Valentines when she married Roy. She's not sure she could live with that. She doesn't decide anything today though; instead she wipes away her tears, plates the food, and takes it to Roy. He thanks her and she sits down with her own plate. They talk about how their day was and it's a slow conversation, not the fast paced dialogue she has with Jim. Eventually she takes the dishes and washes them while Roy watches the game on the television, becoming oblivious to anything else. She's even disappointed about Roy forgetting his promise about sleeping together from earlier. At this point anything was better than nothing, but she knew now that Valentine's Day was officially over and ruined.

She slips upstairs and wonders if she should call Jim. She could really use a laugh and he was the one person who could make her laugh more than anyone else. She presses the speed dial button for his number, the only speed dial she has, and after several rings it goes to voicemail,

"Hey Jim, it's me, Pam." She then realizes that he had plans that night with the poker night. She begins to feel stupid for calling. "Um, you're probably out, I think I heard you saying something like that today at the office. But, um, I was just seeing if you could talk." She tried to keep her voice even, "But, um, it's totally okay. I'll just see you in the office tomorrow. Happy Valentine's Day. Okay, bye."

She didn't know Jim had seen on his caller identification that she was calling him and had purposely missed her call. He couldn't take watching her be that pretty in the office and seeing how sad she became throughout the day over a man he knew wasn't good enough for her. A man she was going to _marry_ of all things. If he was her boyfriend he would've bought out an entire flower show and anything else needed to see her smile. Tonight, though, he wasn't anything more than a friend and when he later listened to the voicemail he felt his heart break at her attempt to sound like she was fine when obviously Roy had blown it. He felt guilty about not getting her anything for Valentine's Day, but he was so caught up on the point that she was actually going to get married instead of it being something that could potentially never happen. He was so frustrated and upset that he had intentionally not gotten her anything when she had gotten him candy and had gone out of her way to make a great card. He also felt guilty about not picking up his phone when she called. Tomorrow before work he would buy her a big bag of French onion chips and offer to take her out to the deli on their lunch break. He would make it up to her for not being there when she needed it. He would show her that when a guy cared he would make the effort no matter what.

She changes into a shirt and pajama pants. After checking her email and watching the news on the only network not playing the game, she turns off everything and pulls the covers over herself. The room is chilly and without any lights the room looks empty. She feels empty, falling asleep with no one beside her. Eventually Roy would come to bed once the game was over, but that was hours away. Her mind falls into a dream land where Roy didn't exist and she could just stay in the office with Jim forever playing pranks on Dwight, laughing, or just talking.

Maybe tomorrow would be the day Roy gets everything right.

_Fin_


End file.
